Images: Bruce King

I Am Sorry For Your Loss

I am sorry for your loss, someone says.
Those words crack the sky open, a ripe burnt
hurt, I tally death, my throat marked sore with an X for
Brother, Uncles, Sisters, Grandfathers, 18 unratified treaties.
Those words crack the sky open, a ripe burnt
line forms. Something seems to be missing here–
Brother, Uncles, Sisters, Grandfathers, 18 unratified treaties.
I always pack Brother’s death certificate.
Line forms. Something seems to be missing here–
Under Brother’s Ethnicity write: Cahuilla, Luiseño.
I always pack Brother’s death certificate
in my broken suitcase, the one that doesn’t stand straight.
Under Brother’s Ethnicity write: Cahuilla, Luiseño.
Nothing fits right in those boxes so I write about
my broken suitcase, the one that doesn’t stand straight.
Pushing it, I refuse to cede to the weight, remembering extermination.
Nothing fits right in those boxes so I write about
lingering over Sunday morning oranges, thump of break dancers,
Pushing it, I refuse to cede to the weight, remembering extermination,
canyon road, the steady shake of rattle, Grandmother’s soft lilt,
lingering over Sunday morning oranges, thump of break dancers,
I sing into a tiny cry, the business of mourning.
Canyon road, the steady shake of rattle, Grandmother’s soft lilt.
I crave Brother’s posole, something to feed me warm.
I sing into a tiny cry, the everyday business of mourning.
A simple ritual of story and ash makes me
crave Brother’s posole, something to feed me warm.
I am sorry for your loss, someone says.
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Casandra Lopez

Casandra Lopez is a Chicana, Cahuilla, Luiseño and Tongva writer raised in Southern California who currently lives in Seattle. She has an MFA from the University of New Mexico and has been selected for residencies with the Santa Fe Art Institute as well as the School of Advanced Research where she was the Indigenous writer in residence for 2013. Winner of the 2013 Native Writers Chapbook Award from the Sequoyah National Research Center, her work can be found in various literary journals. She is a CantoMundo Fellow and a founding editor of As/Us: A Space For Women Of The World.

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